February 3, 2013
A silly story about a girl, her fixation, a guy and her list.
Flipping through programming trying to erase you from my channel,
There I was, second day straight, hypnotized while living in my flannel.
With the same feelings of a 13-year-old, all giggly and dewy eyed.
When he walked into that room, everything from gravity and life as I knew it, ceased to exist.
And I swear I saw two of him coexist.
And my whole point of being, was summarized by the life in his luminous eyes.
All it took was one look, and I told myself, “Don’t say anything unwise!”
I was fixated, forever haunted and entranced by, wait did he bite his lip?
Soft, beckoning and in slow motion, ok he didn’t, get a grip.
My veins and all body mechanics became employed by my imagination, he had me, jaw dropped & twinkled eyes;
he was the tune, on a permanent rotation.
Tomorrow was going to be Monday, he’d give me wink and walk by my desk,
And I, I’d pretend I didn’t care, I’d stand there, non-nonchalant and statuesque
Sudden obsession birthed from a childhood spent in boy defiance and aggression,
Became unmanageable, un-treatable and after two-weeks, no longer could I repress him.
And in reality, his utter lack of attention to me?
Well, it drove me crazy!
I devised a plan, which consisted of,
do everything and anything you can to get this man!
So here’s my list to secure this mans undying kiss:
Night before: Practice cat walk and pouting
And rehears to say something funny and astounding.
Post notes all over the house, for support
Try on everything in your closet nothing too long, nothing too short!
Nothing good enough in closet
I must design something, sexy, no, Audrey Hepburn like not hobbit.
and when I wake up in the morning,
He will exist more than in my imagination.
Went to sleep and dreamt of him in my bed,
And when I woke up I realized it was all in my head
Early morning, while brushing teeth, practice the perfect smile.
“Confidence, class, sophistication, it’s not an act, it’s a lifestyle.”
Now, apply red, no pink, no purple, green and glitter!
Wait isn’t red, the color of someone sexy and clever?!
Now for something comfortable and not too dramatic.
I hope this little black dress is quiet enough but causes him to panic.
And will top it off with a sweater with just a small subtle sign;
Little does he know, I spent all night cutting this design.
No more list, I’m out the door, like a battalion walking tall and suave, on a mission for amor.
There he is, buttoning his coat,
try to act natural, bury your head in your book and don’t dote!
Oh my god! He called my name,
Collect yourself! Now act mysterious and tame.
“How was your weekend?” he asked.
And like a kid in a candy store I was dumbfounded stuck in trance.
“Well, ya know, weekends are, so weekend like, ya know.”
What did I just say, it didn’t make any sense,
and as soon as I tried to get my thoughts together,
my brother grabbed my cheeks and made me look so dense.
Thinking it was my boyfriend, that’s why he walked away!
And I’m here left alone, with nothing clever to say.
Ok, must regroup, emergency ‘cool chick’ cigarettes, plan b,
so he can get close and light it up for me.
But I don’t smoke, so a huge plume of death got caught my throat.
Bathroom emergency, second regroup, should have made him a chocolate cake, no that could give him a toothache.
OK a shot of perfume and a little bit of eye liner,
Must try to act a little daintier and exceptionally refiner.
Now reapply some color and imagine its him helpful and dapper.
Ok, act two, there he is,
stand next to him,
and read a book while pretending to be a genius a whiz.
above(image from amazing photographer Darren Roberts collection)
Now sit, and curl a strand of your hair.
Do anything to make him aware.
Tease and eat with moving lips, but not enough to go to the hips.
He’s not paying attention!
It’s like I don’t exist,
Maybe I should just jump his bones and attach my face to his!
I know! I’ll blow a bubble,
he’s the least of my troubles.
Splash, the plan backed up on me,
my face is ridiculed with failed attempts, smudged & sticky!
Now what I’ve done?! He’s gone and walked away,
And there’s a thousand voices inside of me pleading for him to stay!
I had so much to say,
but nothing showed up,
I was not eloquent or brave;
only desperate and him, probably fed up.
Oh well, so much for the day, my feelings & my heart I did not convey.
What’s so great about him anyways?
The way he listens to me on my behalf?
No, he’s just a man,
I don’t like him,
matter of fact, I’m putting him on a mental ban!
And right when I was going to cry you wouldn’t believe what came before my eyes.
Flowers in hand he gave to me while whispering in my ear that he wanted only me.
We sat by the pond, he pulled me in close and pointed to me everywhere in his heart that I had enclosed.
I just smiled from ear to ear,
For what would I do for love? Well, what wouldn’t I dare.
Oh! And did I mentioned we kissed!